Wow, I suck at this.

This is my official resolution to get better. I haven't really been making any time for myself over the past few months - negotiating life with my mom again (after 7 years of living on the other side of the country!) has been quite a challenge. And although it's temporary, life here in quiet, snow-laden Hague is pretty darn hectic. Granted, I have discovered Sudoku and now spend what some might consider too much time playing with the newspaper in the morning. Also, we've had tons of really light, fluffy snow to adventure in - so I've spent a decent amount of time snowshoeing and learning to ice climb. And - I've finally committed and disciplined myself to practicing yoga on a regular basis again. I mean, I can't really show up in India (aka the mother ship) and not be able to get into downward dog with some semblance of body awareness. So, I'm back in the saddle - though only time will tell if I stay true to my word. I mean, I'm not getting paid to do this...yet. But I do need to make time for myself and to put my thoughts into some kind of form.

40 days. Forty days from right this minute, our plane destined for Bengaluru, India is scheduled to depart from EWR. We have a ton to do before that happens - including my turn into the big 3-0 - but all in all, I feel more prepared for this trip than any other I've ever taken. Maybe it's because we have a one-way ticket and there is no time pressure...no fitting everything in...no "how much time can we spend here?"...no "we don't have time to go there"...we are limitless. And for the first time in my life, that doesn't scare the crap out of me. Ask me again in 41 days and I might have a different answer, but for now, I feel really grounded. Like there is all good stuff ahead. Maybe it's because I've started to learn how to take things as they come...and how to let them go. My filter for the 'important stuff' is engaged and I become more keenly aware of my most essential stuff each day - and I have to say, it really lightens the load to just let all the gunk that comes flying at me pass right through and leave as quickly as it comes. I am more present than I've been in many years. And light-hearted. As I charge toward my 30s...I feel ready to embrace intention. My intention has slowly been evolving - pieces falling into place and becoming clearer with conversations and encounters and in the quietest of moments. It's funny that I've had to make a practice of slowing down and being still. Seems like we spend so much time trying to fill up our time. What if we don't fill it up? What if we rest a moment? What if we discover that fullness comes from inside and spreads out - that it doesn't just happen around us? Find some ground. Make some space. Allow it to unfold.