Thursday, January 29

The best job in the world.

And it's not the one I'm doing right now...though it's not so bad living in the quiet north country under a peaceful blanket of snow for a few months. Especially before a trip to the cacophonous land of India. But, I heard about this job in Australia - caretaking an island! - that I need to get my butt in gear to apply for. I've been thinking about trying to find a caretaking job in the mountains for years - why not in the tropics? And I freakin' loved Australia! Saw a lot of it - but didn't spend enough time in many places...plus, Queensland has everything an adventure traveler could want! So, I'm embarking on the process it will be to make an application video. Since I don't know much about multi-media computer stuff, it'll take some effort - but Dan will help and I figure, I'm definitely not going to get the job if I don't apply. But if I do...well, then at least there's a chance!

Friday, January 23

Blurry vision.

I did the weirdest thing this morning. It happened like this:

Going through the motions...putting my contacts in. First the right eye, as usual; then the left. As I gently placed the lens on my left eye, I noticed my vision get really blurry. Almost worse than it is when I don't have any contacts in! Confused, I put my hand over one eye at a time to check out how my individual eyes were seeing things. The right eye was not great...the left eye was horrible! What is going on?! I thought. Did I just spontaneously lose my ability to see - even with contacts!? Everything was fine yesterday! Saramago's book Blindness popped into my brain - at least I'm not driving...at least I'm in the comfort of my own home. I ran downstairs and asked my mom if this had every happened to her - she's the experienced one with 35 years of lens-wearing - I have a measly 15 years of practice. The only thing she could think of was one morning when she put both contacts in one eye...but I couldn't have done that! I always put the right eye in first.

Turns out, I did do that. At some point in my childhood, I was told that it creates new pathways in your brain to do menial tasks in different ways periodically. At the time, that meant walking a different way to school. Or washing my hair before my face in the shower. Or putting my left sock on before my right. It's funny how many things we do in the same way every time we do them! Today, I must have subconsciously remembered this little ditty of information - and in an effort to keep the synapses firing sharply, I decided to put the left contact in first. Then, I promptly forgot and put the second contact in my left eye, too. After a dramatic few minutes of praying for my vision back, I got it.

So...either there is someone up there granting wishes...or I need to get my short-term memory checked!

Thursday, January 22

Wow, I suck at this.

This is my official resolution to get better. I haven't really been making any time for myself over the past few months - negotiating life with my mom again (after 7 years of living on the other side of the country!) has been quite a challenge. And although it's temporary, life here in quiet, snow-laden Hague is pretty darn hectic. Granted, I have discovered Sudoku and now spend what some might consider too much time playing with the newspaper in the morning. Also, we've had tons of really light, fluffy snow to adventure in - so I've spent a decent amount of time snowshoeing and learning to ice climb. And - I've finally committed and disciplined myself to practicing yoga on a regular basis again. I mean, I can't really show up in India (aka the mother ship) and not be able to get into downward dog with some semblance of body awareness. So, I'm back in the saddle - though only time will tell if I stay true to my word. I mean, I'm not getting paid to do this...yet. But I do need to make time for myself and to put my thoughts into some kind of form.

40 days. Forty days from right this minute, our plane destined for Bengaluru, India is scheduled to depart from EWR. We have a ton to do before that happens - including my turn into the big 3-0 - but all in all, I feel more prepared for this trip than any other I've ever taken. Maybe it's because we have a one-way ticket and there is no time pressure...no fitting everything in...no "how much time can we spend here?"...no "we don't have time to go there"...we are limitless. And for the first time in my life, that doesn't scare the crap out of me. Ask me again in 41 days and I might have a different answer, but for now, I feel really grounded. Like there is all good stuff ahead. Maybe it's because I've started to learn how to take things as they come...and how to let them go. My filter for the 'important stuff' is engaged and I become more keenly aware of my most essential stuff each day - and I have to say, it really lightens the load to just let all the gunk that comes flying at me pass right through and leave as quickly as it comes. I am more present than I've been in many years. And light-hearted. As I charge toward my 30s...I feel ready to embrace intention. My intention has slowly been evolving - pieces falling into place and becoming clearer with conversations and encounters and in the quietest of moments. It's funny that I've had to make a practice of slowing down and being still. Seems like we spend so much time trying to fill up our time. What if we don't fill it up? What if we rest a moment? What if we discover that fullness comes from inside and spreads out - that it doesn't just happen around us? Find some ground. Make some space. Allow it to unfold.